Once upon a time...

Once upon a time there was a girl named Scary Poppins who loved the little children despite their firery hate for her. To add to her sadness, they even made up a little song that wished her disappearance forever.
She cared for two little boys and a baby girl. In the mornings she would wake up with them at 7:15, an ungodly hour for anyone to endure, and make them their favourite breakfast. Three different kinds of cereal, two different kinds of milk and two different kinds of toast cut two different ways.
Scary Poppins changed them when they were messy, let them watch television for hours, coloured whatever pictures they asked for and even let them paint with their fingers when mom had gone to bed. Sometimes she even went away when they asked to be left alone, which was often. And even stranger than that she even played hockey with them despite her dislike for slapshots directed at her face.
One day the youngest of the three left Scary a lovely surprise and pooped all up her back. Of course this was no fault of the baby but the little boys ran away screaming "Oh no! We don't want to smell the poop!" They would not get a bag for the dirty clothes. So Scary had to get covered in baby poo while she ran around with the poor dirty baby, trying to take off her clothes without covering the rest of the house in poo too.
Then the oldest little boy wanted to play video games. Scary said he had already played for an hour and she feared he would become a zombie. He replied, "If you say no I'll scream at you." To which a tired Scary Poppins said, "Oh yeah? Me too."The little boy slammed down his hockey stick and Scary placed it high upon a shelf along with the video game, and that was the end of that."
When the little boy's mother awoke from her sleep he told her that Scary was an evil witch who refused to give him the right kind of milk in the morning. his mother laughed and told him he needed to trust the kindness of Scary Poppins. Scary was surprised at his claims and thought that maybe she should have let him eat one of her tampons when he demanded to have it as a snack an hour before. But then, she'd be out of a job.

The end.