Once upon a time...

Once upon a time there was a girl named Scary Poppins who loved the little children despite their firery hate for her. To add to her sadness, they even made up a little song that wished her disappearance forever.
She cared for two little boys and a baby girl. In the mornings she would wake up with them at 7:15, an ungodly hour for anyone to endure, and make them their favourite breakfast. Three different kinds of cereal, two different kinds of milk and two different kinds of toast cut two different ways.
Scary Poppins changed them when they were messy, let them watch television for hours, coloured whatever pictures they asked for and even let them paint with their fingers when mom had gone to bed. Sometimes she even went away when they asked to be left alone, which was often. And even stranger than that she even played hockey with them despite her dislike for slapshots directed at her face.
One day the youngest of the three left Scary a lovely surprise and pooped all up her back. Of course this was no fault of the baby but the little boys ran away screaming "Oh no! We don't want to smell the poop!" They would not get a bag for the dirty clothes. So Scary had to get covered in baby poo while she ran around with the poor dirty baby, trying to take off her clothes without covering the rest of the house in poo too.
Then the oldest little boy wanted to play video games. Scary said he had already played for an hour and she feared he would become a zombie. He replied, "If you say no I'll scream at you." To which a tired Scary Poppins said, "Oh yeah? Me too."The little boy slammed down his hockey stick and Scary placed it high upon a shelf along with the video game, and that was the end of that."
When the little boy's mother awoke from her sleep he told her that Scary was an evil witch who refused to give him the right kind of milk in the morning. his mother laughed and told him he needed to trust the kindness of Scary Poppins. Scary was surprised at his claims and thought that maybe she should have let him eat one of her tampons when he demanded to have it as a snack an hour before. But then, she'd be out of a job.

The end.

Cleaning House

Hello insomnia and tea and lovely quiet snow. Hello moon.
Greetings from the day that has been a beautiful blur of nothing imparticular.
Today is the day of Joanna Newsom.
I woke up around 10, listened to Joanna Newsom sing like a muppet baby, took an apple bath, cleaned the house while dancing in my pjs. I did the laundry, vaccumed the floor and thought, "No matter what else is a mess, my carpet is clean." And then I laughed at myself for being in the gutter.
You see, I felt a mess because the university emailed this morning to say they had declined my application for a bursary. They said I don't qualify for financial need. I told them I have about 200 dollars in the bank. I wanted to cry but I washed the floor. Instead of calling someone about it, I bleached the toilet. I couldn't change it. But I could make myself some curried veggies and rice for lunch. I could eat that all day, rehearse my lines for the play and listen to Joanna Newsom read my mind:

And I regret, I regret

How I said to you, "honey, just open your heart"
When I've got trouble even opening a honey jar
And that right there is where we are...

And I been 'fessing double fast
Addressing questions nobody asks
I'll get this joy off of my chest at last
And I will love you 'til the noise has long since passed

Beauty.
So, I almost forgot about school and I touched base with friends who loathe the snow, I took a nap, and dreamed about skating.

For maybe the first or second time in my life I think I'm going to do the logical thing in my life. I am going to go and work abroad to make money for teachers college. I am going to pay off my debt and not worry about being rejected for bursaries. Instead of working and studying at the same time I'm going to try and work and live a little. A little different life. The dream hasn't changed but the road will be longer. In the end though, what's meant to be will find a way and everyone I need, who need me, will be waiting.
I'll miss people. But the practical answer is starring me in the face. No one is worrying about leaving me behind. I have to worry about me a little and I have to stop worrying about people who don't worry about themselves.
Thank you University of Windsor for not worrying about me. You're right, I don't need your help. I have 200 dollars in the bank and I'm going to be just fine. For now, at least my carpet is clean.
;)

Finger she

Can I keep your fingers?
Would you trade them for my bottom lip?
Would you trade them for my left ear?
Would I own those loops and swirls,
your only defining stamp, secretly singing your name...
my name.
I'd slip them under the hurt,
Hide them under the dirt,
Under the skirt.
I'll slip them into the earth

Let me reclaim, what lets you hang on

Can't I plant your fingers?
I'll bury them in the garden
I'll slip them under the dirt
I'll plant them under the snap dragons and kiss them goodbye for good