Today was kinda awesome. I worked for most of the day but I am in love with my job sometimes. Two days out of school and I'm already planning camp. Not only planning camp, but promoting, and deciding on field trips and getting ready for interviews so I can survey new staff. That in itself is exciting because last years staff was painful at best. And I can focus all on work which is the way I love spending my April, truly. And tomorrow I might have date with my friend who is going away. And (that's "and" number three if you're keeping track) I drank beer allllll afternoon with my friends, sitting around in summer temperatures. Three days out of school and it's kind of perfect. I just hope this is the way it is allll summer long. Not to mention I watched Coachella online.
The only thing that could have made things better would be to actually be at Coachella right now, sleeping a tent and loving my little hippie life but that is a tall order so I will take my sunshine and beer and extra work hours and be thankful.
Oh and a warning: Listen to Turbonegro and your ears will bleed. I guarantee it.
Maybe I'm still a little drunk. And (number 4) maybe that's just a little perfect too.
Love alllllll around
<3
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I sogged though a fog and a choking smog...
I have a confession. I didn't really get stressed out this exam season. I didn't really care. I let it pass. There was no way in hell I was going to let it really get to me. The past four years I have freaked out everytime exams came around, lost sleep, gotten sick, shed tears. All for nothing. I always ended up getting good grades but it seems that can just happen without the overwhelming debacle that is the dreaded end of semester. I suppose I just realized that I will really miss school one day. It was a few weeks ago at my roast, drinking with my classmates (something that rarely ever happens) and I became very aware of how this chapter was slowly coming to a close and soon some of these people would be teachers. My whole life I have been a student. I know no other life other than that within a school. Sure, I have my job but school has always been the driving force behind all my important choices. Maybe it's part of the reason I'm dragging my heels. Grades are my bag. I'm not perfect but most of my jollies come in the form of As. I get off on feedback and As circled in bright red. Oh, baby, oh baby.
I got all my grades back for my directed studies. It's a project I have been working on since September. I got all As. Splooge all over. Honeslty, my professor rocks. Due dates are flexible and if you can justify that you learned ANYTHING you get an A. Because really, that's what's important. Anyone can learn what a prof wants them to learn. This fucking class makes you go out there into the world and learn something important for yourself that is relevant to YOU. Which is refreshing considering all people do all their educational lives is bitch about how nothing in the curriculumn is relevant at all. So yes, score one for drama school motherfuckers.
One last thing. Today was a personal win. I had a very small but relevant moment of triumph. The last two days I have spent hours rehearsing for a 15 minute musical presentation for my theatre for young audiences class. I sang 4 songs in 15 minutes and the last one was probably one of the hardest songs I have ever performed. It takes an incredible amount of acting, humor, memorization, stamina, lung capacity and awareness. Everytime I rehearsed I would mess up this section of the song that is sung very quickly, "I sogged through a fog and a choking smog down a sloggy slope through a stinking bog while my slip was gripped by a vicous dog." (its dr. seuss) And fuck yeah I pulled it off today and it was fun and I slayed it. The minute before I stepped onstage I decided to throw every caution to the wind and have a blast. I knew the audience, I was comfortable and relaxed and it was like this one perfect moment. I want to hold onto that one for a while. I have done some really cool shit this semester. I played a pill head in a game board, I devised a piece around the Dresden Dolls and got 94%, I built a dinosaur puppet, I had placement with two amazing groups of ESL students, I took a dance class and inerviewed seniors and performed the lead in our musical exam. So fuck yeah I did a lot and now I deserve one hell of a vacation. That's right, I do.
Random worthwile sidenote: Last night I had a dream one of my best friends was a zombie bunny living in the attic of a haunted house. He changed into my friend again and we just laughed and talked about realistic things like he never had been a rabbit at all. It was weird but I love zombies and bunnies, haunted houses and it really made me laugh.
Goodnight kids.
I am so full of love it's making me sick
<3
I got all my grades back for my directed studies. It's a project I have been working on since September. I got all As. Splooge all over. Honeslty, my professor rocks. Due dates are flexible and if you can justify that you learned ANYTHING you get an A. Because really, that's what's important. Anyone can learn what a prof wants them to learn. This fucking class makes you go out there into the world and learn something important for yourself that is relevant to YOU. Which is refreshing considering all people do all their educational lives is bitch about how nothing in the curriculumn is relevant at all. So yes, score one for drama school motherfuckers.
One last thing. Today was a personal win. I had a very small but relevant moment of triumph. The last two days I have spent hours rehearsing for a 15 minute musical presentation for my theatre for young audiences class. I sang 4 songs in 15 minutes and the last one was probably one of the hardest songs I have ever performed. It takes an incredible amount of acting, humor, memorization, stamina, lung capacity and awareness. Everytime I rehearsed I would mess up this section of the song that is sung very quickly, "I sogged through a fog and a choking smog down a sloggy slope through a stinking bog while my slip was gripped by a vicous dog." (its dr. seuss) And fuck yeah I pulled it off today and it was fun and I slayed it. The minute before I stepped onstage I decided to throw every caution to the wind and have a blast. I knew the audience, I was comfortable and relaxed and it was like this one perfect moment. I want to hold onto that one for a while. I have done some really cool shit this semester. I played a pill head in a game board, I devised a piece around the Dresden Dolls and got 94%, I built a dinosaur puppet, I had placement with two amazing groups of ESL students, I took a dance class and inerviewed seniors and performed the lead in our musical exam. So fuck yeah I did a lot and now I deserve one hell of a vacation. That's right, I do.
Random worthwile sidenote: Last night I had a dream one of my best friends was a zombie bunny living in the attic of a haunted house. He changed into my friend again and we just laughed and talked about realistic things like he never had been a rabbit at all. It was weird but I love zombies and bunnies, haunted houses and it really made me laugh.
Goodnight kids.
I am so full of love it's making me sick
<3
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Happy One Year
April 15th this damn thing turns one year old. Didn't think I'd write for a month to be honest. Thought I'd be the only one the read the thing and sure as hell didn't count on it being something I would need from time to time.
I'm not a writer. I've never claimed to be, but I always wanted to be. It was once my ideal career path along with paleontologist, chemist, olympic athlete and archeologist. Apparently I like to dig things up. Just for perspective's sake it's worth mentioning I'm a drama student. It makes sense though, in a way I get to be whatever I want to be. Anyways, I always wanted to be able to write poetry so I practice throwing words around here from time to time.
It's just for fun, it's therapy. I can say things I would never say to anyone and there's a select few who get to read it if they so choose and I don't mind that.
Sidenote: Sexy thing on tv is talking about fantasy home structures. He built a hobbit tree house and I'm a little in love with him. He wants to build tree house bed and breakfasts in BC in the woods. Holy shit, I love you, have my babies, you're adorable.
I digress. I'm tired, I just wrote 7 pages for a final exam I forgot I had. Happy Easter to me lol. I don't mind. It's just a reflection and it's worth hardly anything.
In other news be careful what you wish for. It might multiply by 3. That's ambiguous enough for you I think. But I will say that I'm having trouble making up my mind because each one is special in their own way :)
Thank god for spring and for nice weather. One year later and I'm still on the porch drinking my tea and hoping that a thunderstorm is on the way after a sunny, lazy day.
Love all around
<3
I'm not a writer. I've never claimed to be, but I always wanted to be. It was once my ideal career path along with paleontologist, chemist, olympic athlete and archeologist. Apparently I like to dig things up. Just for perspective's sake it's worth mentioning I'm a drama student. It makes sense though, in a way I get to be whatever I want to be. Anyways, I always wanted to be able to write poetry so I practice throwing words around here from time to time.
It's just for fun, it's therapy. I can say things I would never say to anyone and there's a select few who get to read it if they so choose and I don't mind that.
Sidenote: Sexy thing on tv is talking about fantasy home structures. He built a hobbit tree house and I'm a little in love with him. He wants to build tree house bed and breakfasts in BC in the woods. Holy shit, I love you, have my babies, you're adorable.
I digress. I'm tired, I just wrote 7 pages for a final exam I forgot I had. Happy Easter to me lol. I don't mind. It's just a reflection and it's worth hardly anything.
In other news be careful what you wish for. It might multiply by 3. That's ambiguous enough for you I think. But I will say that I'm having trouble making up my mind because each one is special in their own way :)
Thank god for spring and for nice weather. One year later and I'm still on the porch drinking my tea and hoping that a thunderstorm is on the way after a sunny, lazy day.
Love all around
<3
Thursday, April 2, 2009
I see a little silhouette-a of a man
Last night I was roasted by third and second year students. It was kind of amazing. I thought they were going to really rip into me but thankfully they just teased me for being tattooed and pierced, draped in black and for having a fictional relationship with a girlfriend. Everyone was hammered and 40 of us screamed Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of our lungs, a capella. Disaster comes to mind when I watch the video re play. We're lucky though, few people graduate in such a way with their class and younger peers. It's a hysterical and nostalgic way to pick out the best moments during four years of storm and stress. Everyone in my class got into teachers college which is also really and truly amazing and I'm genuinely happy for all of them because I know how hard everyone in that fucking class works. Literally, dreds are like machines and teachers on missions to legit change the world. And no matter what or how close we are personally, in that way we are all connected. I will miss sitting on rubber mats with you kids every time I enter a lecture hall and remember how nice it was to lay on my stomach through an hour and half class without shoes on.
Am I sad that I'm not actually graduating and I can't celebrate my own acceptance and life change? Yes and no. I'd like to be able to come full cirlce with everyone I started with but it wouldn't be right for me at this point in my own life. Just not ready to commit I guess. I've been thinking about that a lot lately and I think it's a bravery thing, or maybe a grown up thing. Hopefully, it happens naturally because I can't imagine sitting myself down and trying to convince myself that it's time to be a grown up with the rest of the world, whatever that means. I have a feeling that next year is going to be really fucking hard to deal with but maybe necessary too.
On a sidenote I went to the lake tonight to watch the lightning and a cop ruined the moment by investigating my suspicious parked car under a streetlight. Lame.
I love you, goodnight.
<3
Am I sad that I'm not actually graduating and I can't celebrate my own acceptance and life change? Yes and no. I'd like to be able to come full cirlce with everyone I started with but it wouldn't be right for me at this point in my own life. Just not ready to commit I guess. I've been thinking about that a lot lately and I think it's a bravery thing, or maybe a grown up thing. Hopefully, it happens naturally because I can't imagine sitting myself down and trying to convince myself that it's time to be a grown up with the rest of the world, whatever that means. I have a feeling that next year is going to be really fucking hard to deal with but maybe necessary too.
On a sidenote I went to the lake tonight to watch the lightning and a cop ruined the moment by investigating my suspicious parked car under a streetlight. Lame.
I love you, goodnight.
<3
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