Last night I was roasted by third and second year students. It was kind of amazing. I thought they were going to really rip into me but thankfully they just teased me for being tattooed and pierced, draped in black and for having a fictional relationship with a girlfriend. Everyone was hammered and 40 of us screamed Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of our lungs, a capella. Disaster comes to mind when I watch the video re play. We're lucky though, few people graduate in such a way with their class and younger peers. It's a hysterical and nostalgic way to pick out the best moments during four years of storm and stress. Everyone in my class got into teachers college which is also really and truly amazing and I'm genuinely happy for all of them because I know how hard everyone in that fucking class works. Literally, dreds are like machines and teachers on missions to legit change the world. And no matter what or how close we are personally, in that way we are all connected. I will miss sitting on rubber mats with you kids every time I enter a lecture hall and remember how nice it was to lay on my stomach through an hour and half class without shoes on.
Am I sad that I'm not actually graduating and I can't celebrate my own acceptance and life change? Yes and no. I'd like to be able to come full cirlce with everyone I started with but it wouldn't be right for me at this point in my own life. Just not ready to commit I guess. I've been thinking about that a lot lately and I think it's a bravery thing, or maybe a grown up thing. Hopefully, it happens naturally because I can't imagine sitting myself down and trying to convince myself that it's time to be a grown up with the rest of the world, whatever that means. I have a feeling that next year is going to be really fucking hard to deal with but maybe necessary too.
On a sidenote I went to the lake tonight to watch the lightning and a cop ruined the moment by investigating my suspicious parked car under a streetlight. Lame.
I love you, goodnight.
<3
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