Help I'm alive

Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind,
Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves,
The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach,
Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free,
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands,
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves,
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.

I have been hearing this everywhere. I see this everywhere. It's following me. And I'm not really sure why. I have ideas. It's possibly one of the most beautiful verses I have ever heard. I have this plane ticket to use up from a trip I cancelled a month ago. I can go anywhere and right now I am dying to go to Coachella. The lineup is beyond amazing, like everyday was handpicked just for me. That's a really egotistical thing to say but I don't care. I'm seriously considering going alone.
And sidenote: I have this friend who consistently puts down any seemingly crazy idea I have or future plan that seems unrealistic and it's really really really getting old. To use a really cheesy saying, I have big dreams. I do. I don't think on a small scale. I see the last two years as working my way up to my biggest ideas. Getting on planes, trains, staying places alone, meeting strange and lovely people and setting it all up on my own are some things I getting better at. Every little bit helps. I can't just pick up and leave my whole life without some realistic expectation of what to do. I'm working my way up, leaving a piece of myself in every new place I visit, with every interesting person I hope to meet again. And I tell you these things, I share them with you not so you can shut them down and beat them in front of me. I do it so that maybe you will understand, tell me I'm not crazy and that I can do whatever I want. But that's ridiculous because I already know those things and I don't really need reaffirmation. In short, cut it out. You're pissing me off.

THERE IS A BREAKTHROUGH MOMENT OCCURING IN MY KITCHEN AT THIS MOMENT
...
Abbee just said, "Why does everyone want a coach bag, like really it just has Cs on it? And why does everyone like the same thing as everyone else, why do they all have to be the same? It's boring. Do you ever think about how nothing matters, nothing? Did you ever realize how pointless EVERYTHING IS? Cars are unatural and scary, pop is terrifying, who thought that was a good idea? Go drink water! Staples, staples are unatural. Nailpolish."

Okay. My little sister just became a philosopher in front of my eyes. My day just got 100% better.

Oh yeah, my placement teacher asked me never to come back. I'm numb about that. I don't want to talk about it. But I will say I feel so bad for the kids in her class that it makes me sick.

Back to studying the phonetic alphabet, but just for now.