Far

So,

I know I'm a tough broad who doesn't need shit from nobody but I am all over the place.
I miss my best friend. He's gone, living it up on the other side of the world for 12 days and it's really making me more pathetic by the second. I'm ashamed and embarrassed to admit it.
It's just that at least 3 times a day for the past three days I have had to stop myself from picking up my cell and texting him about some current event, something from my own day or just something stupid funny that I would usually tell him. I've considered making a list of everything or storing all the internet links I want to share in some kind of file for the next week but it's slightly over the top.
I had another very close friend who lived in Australia for a year and that was very difficult. I think it's the idea of them being so far that if anything were to happen I don't know what I would do. It's a feeling of helplessness. And the absolutely stupid thing is that while they are away they are having a fantastic time and I am worrying about nothing. But, at the same time he's all alone and I knew my other friend had a network of friends she trusted and seemed like total sweethearts to take care of her. He adores strangers. I love that he loves talking to just about anyone but it also scares the shit out of me a little bit.
It's a selfish kind of fear too that makes me jealous of all the new friends they make. I hope this is pyschotically normal. Being jealous makes me feel like a crazy person. At the same time I want them to make the most out of life and take whatever opportunity possible, whether it includes me or not.

To keep myself busy the meantime I have to throw myself into work and learn how to make peanut butter filled cupcakes...